My Lisi

Over the course of the last few weeks I have gained a new favorite niece as a fantastic relationship has blossomed between Analese and me. For me the seed germinated after we got back from Dad’s funeral when I had the chance to talk to her one on one a couple of evenings while Laura was visiting her parents and we both got to open up. The barriers continued to drop over the last couple of weeks until we each have developed a really good trust in each other and an ability to really work together.

I had unknowingly laid the foundation for this the night before my brothers and I drove down to see Dad for the last time. That night we had gone out to dinner with all four families and Mom. When we came home from dinner I talked to Lisi about the status of her divorce and reiterated that we wanted to give her all the support she needed for that to be over. She told me recently that my commitment helped her get over the final hurdles. Her completed divorce papers were filed a week later. Having that behind her and having me provide that last emotional reserve to do it helped her be open when we got to talk later. Since those initial talks together Lisi and I have been much more familiar and have talked about a wide variety of subjects in depth. She was thrilled when I told her she was my favorite niece and when I’ve told her how much I have been learning from dropping my long-standing habit of being guarded around female acquaintances. It has been liberating to give her hugs when one of us feels to do so and to know that our affection is mutual and sustaining. She knows she can count on me like a father but without the emotional baggage and I know I can count on her like a true friend.

In fact I’ve purchased a custom shirt for her declaring her to be an honorary Miller. She was thrilled when I showed her the images of the shirt tonight. (It won’t arrive until after she has left for home for the summer but she promises to visit somewhat regularly over the summer so she’ll have an opportunity to pick it up.) I look forward to watching and supporting her as she gets her footing and moves forward in her life.