I was hurting when Laura moved into her own room on October 4th but over time I decided that I wasn’t content to just let things play out. After 13 days we had begun to warm up again and Saturday night she moved back into the bedroom. Then as we talked about the experience this morning she began almost immediately falling back into the patterns that I had been rejecting. She realized that as well as I did and decided that she needed to move out again. We talked about it and both feel very good that the separation (or some aspect of it) was allowing her to change how she saw and responded to me and that neither of us was interested in going back to the old patterns so for the time being she is again sleeping in the sanctuary. We’ve gone so far as to cut our mattress in half so that she can rest more comfortably. This time it is a mutual decision based on a shared understanding of the causes and the end goal for the move. We are very much aligned even as we are more physically separated.
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