While there may be value in decluttering our lives of things, when it comes to things of eternal importance {we should cling to what we have whenever possible}.
Sometimes as the days pile up together since people begin to start thinking less of their spouse and more of themselves.
Great marriages are built brick by brick, day by day.
No matter how flat your relationship, if you keep adding pebbles of kindness etc. eventually a great pyramid will grow.
It may be a gradual work, but it doesn’t have to be a cheerless one.
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Families always include awkward moments. (He includes a great list of examples.)
Those who save their families are successful because they counsel together and listen to each other.
The only universal ingredient in successful families is that family members have and exercise charity.
Pride may be a common human failing but it is not part of our spiritual makeup.
For the sake of your soul, please be merciful.
Many years ago, I was at the Frankfurt Germany Temple when I noticed an elderly couple holding hands. The caring tenderness and affection they showed to each other warmed my heart.
I’m not completely sure why this scene affected me so profoundly. Perhaps it was the sweetness of the love these two people shared for one another—a compelling symbol of perseverance and commitment. It was clear that this couple had been together for a long time and their affection for one another was still alive and strong.
I think another reason this tender scene has stayed with me for so long is the contrast to some of today’s attitudes. In so many societies around the world, everything seems to be disposable. As soon as something starts to break down or wear out—or even when we simply grow tired of it—we throw it out and replace it with an upgrade, something newer or shinier.
We do this with cell phones, clothes, cars—and, tragically, even with relationships.
I am grateful that I belong to a church that values marriage and family. Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are known throughout the world for having some of the finest marriages and families you can find. I believe this is, in part, due to the precious truth restored by Joseph Smith that marriages and families are meant to be eternal. Families are not just meant to make things run more smoothly here on earth and to be cast off when we get to heaven. Rather, they are the order of heaven. They are an echo of a celestial pattern and an emulation of God’s eternal family.
But strong marriage and family relationships do not happen just because we are members of the Church. They require constant, intentional work. The doctrine of eternal families must inspire us to dedicate our best efforts to saving and enriching our marriages and families. I admire and applaud those who have preserved and nourished these critical, eternal relationships.
Somehow, as the days multiply and the color of romantic love changes, there are some who slowly stop thinking of each other’s happiness and start noticing the little faults. In such an environment, some are enticed by the tragic conclusion that their spouse isn’t smart enough, fun enough, or young enough. And somehow they get the idea that this gives them justification to start looking elsewhere.
Brethren, if this comes close to describing you at all, I warn you that you are on a road that leads to broken marriages, broken homes, and broken hearts. I plead with you to stop now, turn around, and come back to the safe path of integrity and loyalty to covenants. And, of course, the same principles apply for our dear sisters.
Now, just one word to those of our single brethren who follow the deception that they first have to find the “perfect woman” before they can enter into serious courting or marriage.
My beloved brethren, may I remind you, if there were a perfect woman, do you really think she would be that interested in you?
Brethren, those who save their marriages understand that this pursuit takes time, patience, and, above all, the blessings of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. It requires you to be kind, envy not, seek not your own, not be easily provoked, think no evil, and rejoice in the truth. In other words, it requires charity, the pure love of Christ.
All this won’t just happen in an instant. Great marriages are built brick by brick, day after day, over a lifetime.
And that is good news.
Because no matter how flat your relationship may be at the present, if you keep adding pebbles of kindness, compassion, listening, sacrifice, understanding, and selflessness, eventually a mighty pyramid will begin to grow. …
It may be a gradual work, but it doesn’t have to be a cheerless one. In fact, at the risk of stating the obvious, divorce rarely happens when the husband and wife are happy.
So be happy!
And brethren, astonish your wife by doing things that make her happy.
Those who save their marriages choose happiness.
In a society that expects immediate results is hard to notice that “not immediate” would be a good thing.
Those who save marriages pull out the weeds and water the flowers. They celebrate the small acts of grace that spark tender feelings of charity. Those who save marriages save future generations.
Brethren, remember why you fell in love.
Work each day to make your marriage stronger and happier.
My dear friends, let us do our very best to be numbered among those hallowed and happy souls who save their marriages.
Every family has moments of awkwardness.
Like when your parents ask you to take a “selfie” of them.
There is not one solution that covers every situation. Those who save their families are successful because they counsel with their spouse and family, seek the will of the Lord, and listen for the promptings of the Holy Ghost. They know that what is right for one family may not be right for another.
However, there is one thing that is right in every case.
In the Book of Mormon we learn of a people who had discovered the secret to happiness. For generations, “there was no contention. … And surely there could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the hand of God.” How did they do it? “Because of the love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the people.”
Whatever problems your family is facing, whatever you must do to solve them, the beginning and the end of the solution is charity, the pure love of Christ. Without this love, even seemingly perfect families struggle. With it, even families with great challenges succeed.
The great enemy of charity is pride. Pride is one of the biggest reasons marriages and families struggle. Pride is short-tempered, unkind, and envious. Pride exaggerates its own strength and ignores the virtues of others. Pride is selfish and easily provoked. Pride assumes evil intent where there is none and hides its own weaknesses behind clever excuses. Pride is cynical, pessimistic, angry, and impatient. Indeed, if charity is the pure love of Christ, then pride is the defining characteristic of Satan.
Pride may be a common human failing. But it is not part of our spiritual heritage, and it has no place among holders of the priesthood of God.
The way you treat your wife or children or parents or siblings may influence generations to come. What legacy do you want to leave your posterity? One of harshness, vengeance, anger, fear, or isolation? Or one of love, humility, forgiveness, compassion, spiritual growth, and unity?
Set aside pride.
Sincerely apologizing to your children, your wife, your family, or your friends is not a sign of weakness but of strength. Is being right more important than fostering an environment of nurturing, healing, and love?
Build bridges; don’t destroy them.
Even when you are not at fault—perhaps especially when you are not at fault—let love conquer pride.
How do we let love shine through even when we need to hold a line?
When is it important to hold a line even if it is interpreted as harsh?
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