I finally got to visit Laura tonight. She seems happy and peaceful. I had been warned before going in by both Laura (strong hints on phone calls) and Becca (directly) that Laura would want to talk about sending Alyssa to live elsewhere and that she was very much stuck on that action. I braced myself because I see much less benefit and many more problems from that than Laura does. When I got there she talked about the influence she had had among the other patients. Officially they had group sessions during the day before she arrived but in practice none of the patients would come. Laura has chosen to be outgoing and engaging with the patients and one by one they have begun to join so that after only 2 days all but one patient is now coming to the group activities instead of hiding out in their own rooms.
Laura was moved in to share a room after her first night with a roommate who couldn’t remember her own name or her own family. After Laura began talking with her she now remembers who she is and tells stories about her family. I love that her natural talents can be put to good use in a challenging environment. It coincides with my dream last night that years in the future, after the kids were raised, Laura went back to the psych ward as either a volunteer or an employee to inspire and lift patients there as someone who understood something of what they were facing.
Laura did talk about the two things she realized as answers – one being moving Alyssa out and the other being her need to ask for more help from ward members (which I have long advocated for) but we didn’t get into a discussion about the pros and cons. She told me that when she asked the head psychiatrist about moving Alyssa out he told her that the idea was worth considering but that it should be made slowly and deliberately and that she should make no such decision while she was still there. He also said that such a decision would best be made collaboratively with Alyssa. I used that as a springboard to talk about working collaboratively with challenging kids was the basis for the system I was trying to implement from The Explosive Child. I told her how I was working to do that. By the time I had to leave she had a great appreciation of where I was coming from in the decision.
She asked what I thought of the idea of moving Alyssa out and I explained why I was highly skeptical of it. She then asked if I was willing to consider it and I told her I was willing to consider any solution, even that one. I think that forms a basis where we will be able to talk, identify concerns, and brainstorm workable solutions. I highly doubt that we will conclude that Alyssa should move out and even if we did I’m confident that it would be a drastically scaled back variant of what Laura had been imagining.
When people ask me how I’m doing I tell them I’m doing great. In taking to Gayle Bleak tonight she noted that she could see that I truly was doing great. When having dinner with Jared he said the same thing. When talking to Lisi on the phone (she called as soon as she heard about Laura) she said that she could hear that I was much happier and more peaceful than she has ever heard me before. It’s amazing how light the burden has been thanks to the Spirit.
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