Snuggles last night heated up much more than in previous nights and took a decidedly sexual turn – right up until Laura decided she was done. I enjoyed the direction but today I had to make sure that I had not been misreading Laura last night and that her reversal was not a case of her feeling that I was trying to take advantage of her without her real consent.
When we talked about it Laura was very clear that she is actually interested in sex – that she wants it – but that she is deliberately withholding herself for the time being. This isn’t a matter of her being vindictive; she simply feels the need to steer clear of sex for a while as we establish new patterns of interaction. She also indicated that one thing she is looking for is for me to tell her things that I feel she needs to change.
I have spent years trying to ignore most of the things I thought she should change because her reactions were less than receptive but while my focus will remain primarily on improving myself I am determined to make note of some things that I would like her to work on and then practice telling her those things in a loving and supportive way. She will need to learn how to receive these requests and I will need to learn how to deliver them.
So I now have more clarity on some of what she is looking to see in our interactions and I have explicit confirmation that she is interested in sex and even before she is ready for sex she wants to continue snuggles – from the sound of it she wants them more often than not.
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