Homework: What is the gap between current reality and desired outcome?
The gap:
Things that are standing in the way of my desired outcome? Name it to tame it. Things that pull me into problem orientation. (Financial security is one)
• What is going on now in relation to my outcome?
• Find objective facts about current reality (time, age, money, education, relationships)
• Identify feelings about current reality. We don’t label them – just acknowledge them.
• Identify skills
• Identify observable behaviors
- Things that put me in problem orientation:
- Money
- Matt (past tense)
- Lord of the Flies culture
- Fatigue??
- Current reality
- Looking for a job that fits
- 20+ career years remaining
- MS + BS degrees
- strong w/ Laura
- struggles relating w/ Isaac, Alyssa, Ezra, Noah
- Behaviors
- I bury myself in in minutia (games) when overworked
- I have explosive responses when triggered by the kids
For immovable boulders in the path the tactic is to get curious about how to navigate toward the outcome in light of that obstacle. The problem orientation limits options to only moving the obstacle – regardless of how immovable it is.
Allow kids to fail – failure is not only an option, it’s an important option in their development.
Time: expectations regarding the timeframe for development can limit our perspective.
Being unattached to the advice: to be a true coach, you don’t already the relationship based on whether person accepts and shots the advice you offer.
Step 3: What’s happening right now that supports the desired outcome?
Step 4: What’s happening now that inhibits my desired outcome?
These 2 help to filter or categorize the data about the current reality?
Homework. Finish #2
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