I’m ready to be done. Nothing happens around here unless I do it. Worse, even with my best efforts nothing materially improves because nobody else will change.
The expectation around here is, if something’s broken Dad will fix it. If Dad doesn’t fix it it doesn’t need to be fixed. And finally, if Dad wants to change something I don’t need to participate if I don’t feel like it.
Laura is content to ask me to make things better but to accept her own efforts as sufficient – is never on her when she fails. Alyssa is generally absent and when she’s not absent she’s generally crabby. Even while she’s absent she feels that she had free access to anything she wants here. Mariah feels like she can be as grumpy as she wants if we ask for anything more than she was already willingly giving. Isaac does his own thing – always – and thinks we’re his enemies.
Right now it feels like no matter what effort I put in the outcome is the same pathetic thing and it makes me wonder if it wouldn’t be better to just stop putting in so much effort since the outcome will be unchanged but at least I wouldn’t feel I was wasting my efforts.
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