Today I had a wonderful spiritual experience the likes of which I have only had a few times before. I didn’t know it at the time but it began with my prayer this morning. It was one of those prayers where I felt truly in tune with my Father in Heaven and His will. I prayed the desire of my heart in anticipation of starting this next phase of my career that I would be able to grow professionally in ways that would enable me and prepare me to serve in the work of the kingdom and I asked that I be blessed in those endeavors to prepare for such opportunities and to have time in my life when working would not be an economic necessity while I still had the time (age) and energy to serve.
Later in the early evening Laura commented that I have been very joyful lately. I know that is because I will be starting work again and that relieves more stress than she could know. The months of September, October, and November were extremely tough on me emotionally and spiritually and while Laura saw the signs of that stress she could never comprehend the depth of it for me. When she commented on my joy and light I was inspired to say that it was because of the job but beyond that it was that I knew that life had now hit me as hard as it could and I had survived – that while I had been knocked down at times it had never hit me so hard that I didn’t get back up. Now that I know that I have a new confidence that I can endure whatever comes. Laura might think that is all due to the job but it’s also all the family turmoil that we have been turning the corner on as well as her waning faith crisis of the last few years.
Perhaps an hour later as I was pondering on what I had articulated I thought about the statement by Joseph Smith that he “was wont to swim in deep waters.” I searched for that quote and discovered that it was in Doctrine and Covenants 127:2 (I had thought it was outside the scriptures). As I read the context around that statement I realized that while his hardships don’t look much like mine I felt a great kinship with Joseph and Paul and felt honored to be in such good company as a swimmer in deep waters. I then got very excited that we are studying Doctrine and Covenants this year and with that I felt am enveloping feeling of familiarity that these various pieces were confirmation to my soul that Heavenly Father and Jesus were aware and mindful of me.
My testimony has again received another precious store of the kind of fuel that can withstand nearly any battering and after these recent months and years I know more about what battering is possible than I had previously known.
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