It is usually easy to forgive one who humbly and sincerely seeks your forgiveness but the Lord can give you the power to forgive those who never acknowledge their sins and seek your forgiveness.
Even when we forgive someone we can still be prompted to keep ourselves safe from that person.
I knew that she had some personal experience with deep forgiveness, I could just see it in her face as she started on the topic. I hope that the example being her verbally abusive father (who has been seeking to repent) might settle in Laura’s heart so that she can let go of her durable dislike of me.
To give what you were denied is a gift of the Atonement.
In this account, Abigail can be seen as a powerful type or symbol of Jesus Christ. Through His atoning sacrifice, He can release us from the sin and weight of a warring heart and provide us with the sustenance we need.
It’s not like I didn’t already know this but it struck me differently with the story of Abigail—like Christ she took the burden of the sin of Nabal upon herself and made restitution to David but the thing we think less about was that, also like Christ, she washed the anger and desire for revenge from David’s heart thus preventing him from making a bad situation even worse.
Christ can not only rescue us from the sins we have committed and give us relief from the fallout of sins others commit to our detriment but He can also make intercession for sins we are putting to commit if we allow Him to influence it actions and thoughts.
President Russell M. Nelson has taught that the Savior offers us the ability to forgive:
“Through His infinite Atonement, you can forgive those who have hurt you and who may never accept responsibility for their cruelty to you.
“It is usually easy to forgive one who sincerely and humbly seeks your forgiveness. But the Savior will grant you the ability to forgive anyone who has mistreated you in any way. Then their hurtful acts can no longer canker your soul.”
Abigail’s bringing an abundance of food and supplies can teach us that the Savior offers to those who have been hurt and injured the sustenance and help we need to be healed and made whole. We are not left to deal with the consequences of others’ actions on our own; we too can be made whole and given the chance to be saved from the weight of a warring heart and any actions that may follow.
Please know that forgiving someone does not mean that you put yourself in a position where you will continue to be hurt. “We can work toward forgiving someone and still feel prompted by the Spirit to stay away from them.”
Forgiveness means giving up anger against someone for what they have done, it goes not necessarily mean that things go back to the way they were before the offense.
I have personally witnessed the miracle of Christ healing my warring heart. With permission of my father, I share that I grew up in a home where I didn’t always feel safe because of emotional and verbal mistreatment. In my youth and young adult years, I resented my father and had anger in my heart from that hurt.
Over the years and in my efforts to find peace and healing on the path of forgiveness, I came to realize in a profound way that the same Son of God who atoned for my sins is the same Redeemer who will also save those who have deeply hurt me. I could not truly believe the first truth without believing the second.
As my love for the Savior has grown, so has my desire to replace hurt and anger with His healing balm. It has been a process of many years, requiring courage, vulnerability, perseverance, and learning to trust in the Savior’s divine power to save and heal. I still have work to do, but my heart is no longer on a warpath. I have been given “a new heart”—one that has felt the deep and abiding love of a personal Savior, who stayed beside me, who gently and patiently led me to a better place, who wept with me, who knew my sorrow.
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My earthly father has also had a miraculous change of heart in recent years and has turned to the Lord—something I wouldn’t have anticipated in this life. Another testimony to me of the complete and transformative power of Jesus Christ.
I know He is able to heal the sinner and those sinned against. He is the Savior and the Redeemer of the world, who laid down His life that we might live again. He said, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised.”
To all who are brokenhearted, captive, bruised, and perhaps blinded by hurt or sin, He offers healing, recovery, and deliverance. I testify that that healing and recovery He offers is real. The timing of that healing is individual, and we cannot judge another’s timing. It is important to allow ourselves the necessary time to heal and to be kind to ourselves in the process. The Savior is ever merciful and attentive and stands ready to provide the succor we need.
To think only that the Atonement is to rescue us from our own sins is to miss the majority of its purpose and power.
On the path of forgiveness and healing lies a choice not to perpetuate unhealthy patterns or relationships in our families or elsewhere. To all within our influence, we can offer kindness for cruelty, love for hate, gentleness for abrasiveness, safety for distress, and peace for contention.
To give what you have been denied is a powerful part of divine healing possible through faith in Jesus Christ. To live in such a way that you give, as Isaiah has said, beauty for the ashes of your life is an act of faith that follows the supreme example of a Savior who suffered all that He might succor all.
Kevin J Worthen, president of BYU, has said that God “can make good come … not just from our successes but also from our failures and the failures of others that cause us pain. God is that good and that powerful.”
The omnipotence of God includes the power to extract good from anything whether that is refining to remove the bad or transforming to take what had no good and construct something of value in its wake.
Jesus Christ is your personal Messiah, your loving Redeemer and Savior, who knows the pleadings of your heart. He desires your healing and happiness. He loves you. He weeps with you in your sorrows and rejoices to make you whole. May we take heart and take His loving hand that is ever extended as we walk the healing path of forgiveness is my prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
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