Based on how Laura treats me and talks to/about me she sees me as a very useful but thick-headed employee. She likes that I do a pretty good job of keeping the house and family from absolutely collapsing but my priorities are weak and my ambition stops at theory. Unfortunately I’m not interested in making real changes for us to have the kind of family life that the gospel teaches us to strive for and I crave validation and praise while at the same time I don’t respond to those positive inputs the way that I ought to to improve my performance so honoring me or praising me has zero ROI.
As I’ve thought more about this I think the key is that Laura seems to believe that I have no internal motivation for anything I’m not already doing and thus if she sees something she wishes I was doing then she has to be the one to motivate me to do it. She doesn’t look at it as anything but a motivation question. In fact she should be looking at the possibility (generally the truth) that it’s a limited resources issue and the my prioritization of those resources actually makes pretty good sense most of the time.
She appreciates that I try to accommodate her needs but I don’t follow through with fulfilling her need to be recognized for her efforts. Getting compliments from me is like pulling teeth and has no value because the energy to extract them negates any positive impact from them.
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