Family Councils

What did he say would counter the impact of media influences in our families? Was it family counsels?

4 types of family counsels
1: general (everyone)
2: executive (parents)
3: limited (parents + 1 child)
4: one on one (1 parent + 1 child)

Keys to family counsel: no electronics – avoid distractions

General family counsels should be held regularly and are generally more formal than the other types.

I need to study this one and implement what I learn.

My brothers and sisters, the irony of being parents is that we tend to get good at it after our children are grown. I will share with you this afternoon something I wish I had understood better when Barbara and I began to raise our precious children.

Family councils have always been needed. They are, in fact, eternal. We belonged to a family council in the premortal existence, when we lived with our heavenly parents as their spirit children.

A family council, when conducted with love and with Christlike attributes, will counter the impact of modern technology that often distracts us from spending quality time with each other and also tends to bring evil right into our homes.

Please remember that family councils are different from family home evening held on Mondays. Home evenings focus primarily on gospel instruction and family activities. Family councils, on the other hand, can be held on any day of the week, and they are primarily a meeting at which parents listen—to each other and to their children.

In all … family council settings, electronic devices need to be turned off so everyone can look at and listen to each other. During family councils and at other appropriate times, you may want to have a basket for the electronic devices so when the family gathers, everyone—including Mom and Dad—can deposit his or her phones, tablets, and MP3 players in the basket. Thereafter, they can counsel together without being tempted to respond to a poke on Facebook, to a text, to Instagram, to Snapchat, or to email alerts.

The full (general) family council includes all family members.

The Church pamphlet entitled Our Family states, “This council can meet to discuss family problems, work out finances, make plans, support and strengthen [each other], and pray for one another and for the family unit.”

This council should meet at a predesignated time and is normally more formal than any other type of family council.

It should start with a prayer, or it may simply be a natural extension of conversations already started in other settings. Please note that a family council may not always have a formal beginning or ending.

When parents are prepared and children listen and participate in the discussion, the family council is truly working! …

Siblings, especially the older ones, can be powerful mentors to young children if parents will use the family council to enlist their help and support during times of difficulty and duress. …

You may want to consider holding the general family council on Sunday, which is the first day of the week; families can review the past week and plan for the coming week. This may be exactly what your family needs to help make the Sabbath a delightful experience.

The second type of family council is an executive family council that involves only the parents. During this time together, parents can review each child’s physical, emotional, and spiritual needs and his or her progress. …

The third type of family council is a limited family council. Here, both parents spend time with an individual child in a formal or an informal setting. This is an opportunity for a discussion on making decisions in advance about such things as what he or she will and will not do in the future. When such decisions are made, he or she may want to record them for future reference if needed. If your son or daughter sees you as a staunch supporter, this council meeting can establish goals and objectives for the future. This is also a time to carefully listen to serious concerns and challenges that a child may have faced with such things as lack of confidence, abuse, bullying, or fear.

The fourth type of family council is a one-on-one family council involving one parent and one child. This type of family council generally just happens. For example, the parent and child can take advantage of informal opportunities while traveling in the car or working around the house. An outing with one child with either father or mother can provide a special spiritual and emotional bonding time. Calendar these in advance so children can anticipate and look forward to a special time alone with Mom or Dad.

The encouraging thing is that I can look back and see that we have used each of these types of family councils even though we didn’t generally think of them under that head.

There was a time when the walls of our homes provided all the defense we needed against outside intrusions and influences. We locked the doors, closed the windows; we shut the gates; and we felt safe, secure, and protected in our own little refuge from the outside world.

Those days are now gone. The physical walls, doors, fences, and gates of our homes cannot prevent unseen invasion from the Internet, the Wi-Fi, the mobile phones, the networks. They can penetrate our homes with just a few clicks and keystrokes.

Fortunately, the Lord has provided a way to counter the invasion of negative technology that can distract us from spending quality time with each other. He has done this by providing the council system to strengthen, protect, safeguard, and nurture our most precious relationships.

Children desperately need parents willing to listen to them, and the family council can provide a time during which family members can learn to understand and love one another.

Finally, please remember that a family council held regularly will help us spot family problems early and nip them in the bud; councils will give each family member a feeling of worth and importance; and most of all they will assist us to be more successful and happy in our precious relationships, within the walls of our homes.

It was interesting to read my note to self to study and implement this. We discussed this talk in Elders Quorum last Sunday and I immediately began to act on that same impression even though I hadn’t got so far as to study it again myself. I feel impressed that effectively implementing family council will make it so that our progress toward stability as a family and not relying on resources outside our financial capacity will come more as I have seen that it could.