Men are not “the priesthood” but they can appropriately be called “holders of the priesthood.”
The way the priesthood operates in the church is different than the way it should function in families.
In the church all priesthood authority is exercised under the authority of a presiding officer. (Bishops preside over use of the Aaronic priesthood. Stake presidents preside over the use of the Melchizedek priesthood.)
In the church, ordinances are performed by holders of the priesthood who hold appropriate office and who act under the direction of the officer who holds the keys of the priesthood for that ordinance.
In the family priesthood authority is exercised without seeking approval from holders of priesthood keys within the church. Priesthood actions within the family are not ordinances. The only limitation is that priesthood blessings can only be given by those holding appropriate priesthood office, thus women do not give priesthood blessings. They can do any other priesthood action within the family (setting direction, leading out, receiving revelation etc.)
Understanding this might have cast the interactions between Laura and I early in our marriage in a new light. Some things that caused stress between us need not have done so.
Look to the fruits to judge the church. Keep in mind that, like the allegorical olive tree, the fruits may not be uniform across the organization and we should be constantly seeking to improve the fruit by making necessary adjustments to our practices.
The priesthood is a divine power and authority held in trust to be used for God’s work for the benefit of all of His children. Priesthood is not those who have been ordained to a priesthood office or those who exercise its authority. Men who hold the priesthood are not the priesthood. While we should not refer to ordained men as the priesthood, it is appropriate to refer to them as holders of the priesthood.
The power of the priesthood exists both in the Church and in the family organization. But priesthood power and priesthood authority function differently in the Church than they do in the family. All of this is according to the principles the Lord has established. The purpose of God’s plan is to lead His children to eternal life. Mortal families are essential to that plan. The Church exists to provide the doctrine, the authority, and the ordinances necessary to perpetuate family relationships into the eternities. Thus, the family organization and the Church of Jesus Christ have a mutually reinforcing relationship. The blessings of the priesthood—such as the fulness of the gospel and ordinances like baptism, confirmation and receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, the temple endowment, and eternal marriage—are available to men and women alike.
The purpose of the church is to support the exaltation of families.
In the Church the authority of the greater priesthood, the Melchizedek Priesthood, and the lesser or Aaronic Priesthood is exercised under the direction of a priesthood leader, like a bishop or president, who holds the keys of that priesthood. To understand the exercise of priesthood authority in the Church, we must understand the principle of priesthood keys.
The Melchizedek Priesthood keys of the kingdom were conferred by Peter, James, and John, but that did not complete the restoration of priesthood keys. Some keys of the priesthood came later. Following the dedication of the first temple of this dispensation in Kirtland, Ohio, three prophets—Moses, Elias, and Elijah—restored “the keys of this dispensation,” including keys pertaining to the gathering of Israel and the work of the temples of the Lord, as President Eyring has just described so persuasively.The most familiar example of the function of keys is in the performance of priesthood ordinances. An ordinance is a solemn act signifying the making of covenants and the promising of blessings. In the Church all ordinances are performed under the authorization of the priesthood leader who holds the keys for that ordinance.
The whole idea of priesthood keys within the family setting is independent of the operation of keys within the church.
The principle that priesthood authority can be exercised only under the direction of the one who holds the keys for that function is fundamental in the Church, but this does not apply in the family. For example, a father presides and exercises the priesthood in his family by the authority of the priesthood he holds. He has no need to have the direction or approval of one holding priesthood keys in order to perform his various family functions. These include counseling the members of his family, holding family meetings, giving priesthood blessings to his wife and children, or giving healing blessings to family members or others. Church authorities teach family members but do not direct the exercise of priesthood authority in the family.
The same principle applies when a father is absent and a mother is the family leader. She presides in her home and is instrumental in bringing the power and blessings of the priesthood into her family through her endowment and sealing in the temple. While she is not authorized to give the priesthood blessings that can be given only by a person holding a certain office in the priesthood, she can perform all of the other functions of family leadership. In doing so, she exercises the power of the priesthood for the benefit of the children over whom she presides in her position of leadership in the family.
The outdated concept that in the absence of a father the leadership of the family should device to an oldest son is not warranted.
If fathers would magnify their priesthood in their own family, it would further the mission of the Church as much as anything else they might do. Fathers who hold the Melchizedek Priesthood should exercise their authority “by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned.” That high standard for the exercise of all priesthood authority is most important in the family. Holders of the priesthood should also keep the commandments so they will have the power of the priesthood to give blessings to their family members. They should cultivate loving family relationships so that family members will want to ask them for blessings. And parents should encourage more priesthood blessings in the family.
Fathers should live and relate in ways that encourage their families to follow them. It is no good trying to browbeat them into compliance.
In His sermon to multitudes recorded in the Bible and in the Book of Mormon, the Savior taught that mortal bodies can be full of light or full of darkness. We, of course, want to be filled with light, and our Savior taught us how we can make this happen. We should listen to messages about the truths of eternity. He used the example of our eye, through which we take light into our bodies. If our “eye be single”—in other words, if we are concentrating on receiving eternal light and understanding—He explained, “thy whole body shall be full of light.” But if our “eye be evil”—that is, if we look for evil and take that into our bodies—He warned, “thy whole body shall be full of darkness.” In other words, the light or darkness in our bodies depends on how we see—or receive—the eternal truths we are taught.
This is the expression of agency by which someone may see darkness in the actions of another based on their own focus rather than the facts of the actions in question. Especially Isaac in our house looks for darkness in the actions of everyone around him and he inevitably finds it, even when it isn’t really there.
In contrast, Satan is anxious to confuse our thinking or to lead us astray on important matters like the operations of the priesthood of God. The Savior warned of such “false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.” He gave us this test to help us choose the truth from among different teachings that might confuse us: “Ye shall know them by their fruits,” He taught. “A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither [can] a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.” Therefore, we should look to the results—“the fruits”—of principles that are taught and the persons who teach them. That is the best answer to many of the objections we hear against the Church and its doctrines and policies and leadership. Follow the test the Savior taught. Look to the fruits—the results.
We can look to the fruits of the church and also look to the fruits of those who are questioning or opposing the church. And as I stated before, the fruits may not be uniform for either. Within the church we can look to make improvements in those areas where the fruits are less than desirable. For those showing doubt we can consider the composition of their fruits (perhaps in comparison to the fruits of the church or the doctrine or practice being questioned) to gauge the level of credence we should give to their concerns.
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