How much of Isaac’s defiance is because of his emotional wounds? I actually know that much of it (possibly even all) is just that. The problem that remains with Isaac is that he can’t even conceive of the fact that the pain I caused him was because of my own wounds. Likewise with Laura, our ongoing problems are because she judges me while ignoring my wounds. She also ignores more repentance and progress along with the new wounds she inflicts upon me.
Who among us has sorrows that the eye can’t see? {After a long list of the predictable suspects} often even those whose lives appear perfect from the outside.
The story of Jack and his dog Cassie is so instructive and touching.
How often do we judge others based on their outward appearance and actions, or lack of action, when, if we fully understood, we would instead react with compassion and a desire to help instead of adding to their burdens with our judgment?
I have been guilty of this many times in my life, but the Lord has patiently taught me through personal experiences and as I have listened to the life experiences of many others. I have come to more fully appreciate the example of our dear Savior as He spent so much of His time ministering to others with love.
Seeking to understand others is a key to having appropriate compassion.
Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin said, “Paul’s message to this new body of {Corinthian} Saints was simple and direct: Nothing you do makes much of a difference if you do not have charity. You can speak with tongues, have the gift of prophecy, understand all mysteries, and possess all knowledge; even if you have the faith to move mountains, without charity it won’t profit you at all.
We are commanded to love others, not to judge them. Let’s lay down that heavy burden; it isn’t ours to carry. Instead, we can pick up the Savior’s yoke of love and compassion.
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; …
“For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Who among us might have hidden sorrows? The seemingly rebellious child or teenager (Isaac), the children of divorce (me), the single mother or father (Mom), those with physical or mental health challenges (Laura), those questioning their faith, those who experience racial or cultural prejudice, those feeling alone, those longing to be married, those with unwanted addictions, and so many others dealing with a wide variety of challenging life experiences—often even those whose lives appear perfect on the surface.
None of us have perfect lives or perfect families; I certainly don’t. When we seek to empathize with others who also experience challenges and imperfections, it can help them feel that they are not alone in their struggles. Everyone needs to feel that they really do belong and are needed in the body of Christ.
It is a tender mercy to see myself and those I have struggled the most with represented in the first examples given.
“If friends and family … step away from the Church, continue to love them. It is not for you to judge another’s choice any more than you deserve to be criticized for staying faithful.”
President Russell M. Nelson
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