Our words are one of our superpowers
She says some interesting things about how we can influence each other in families for good or ill.
The Savior has the power to turn any nightmare you are going through into a blessing.
Sometimes all we can see is that up-close, magnified view of those we love.…
As humans, we have an earthbound point of view, but God sees the grand overview of the universe. He sees all creation, all of us, and is filled with hope.
It is especially important to see the overview when things aren’t looking good in the close up. When things look good in the closeup view we might forget the importance of looking at the long view (because it’s still important).
I went through a rough patch my senior year in high school when I wasn’t making great choices. I remember seeing my mom crying, and I wondered if I’d disappointed her. At the time, I worried that her tears meant she’d lost hope for me, and if she didn’t feel hope for me, maybe there wasn’t a way back.
But my dad was more practiced at zooming out and taking the long view. He’d learned from experience that worry feels a lot like love, but it’s not the same. He used the eye of faith to see that everything would work out, and his hopeful approach changed me.
When I graduated from high school and went to BYU, my dad sent letters reminding me of who I was. He became my cheerleader, and everybody needs a cheerleader—someone who isn’t telling you, “You’re not running fast enough”; they’re lovingly reminding you that you can.
We have to train ourselves to focus on the things that make a positive difference, not just the things that are easy to see, feel, and say.
Our job is not to teach someone who’s going through a rough patch that they are bad or disappointing. On rare occasions we may feel prompted to correct, but most often let’s tell our loved ones in spoken and unspoken ways the messages they long to hear: “Our family feels whole and complete because you are in it.” “You will be loved for the rest of your life—no matter what.”
Sometimes what we need is empathy more than advice; listening more than a lecture; someone who hears and wonders, “How would I have to feel to say what they just said?”
Connecting with people who are struggling is more powerful than correcting them.
Remember, families are a God-given laboratory where we’re figuring things out, so missteps and miscalculations are not just possible but probable. And wouldn’t it be interesting if, at the end of our lives, we could see that those relationships, even those challenging moments, were the very things that helped us to become more like our Savior? Each difficult interaction is an opportunity to learn how to love at a deeper level—a godlike level.
What better laboratory to learn how to be patient and to rest others the way we hope they would treat us.
The adversary does not want us or our loved ones to return home together. And because we live on a planet that is bound by time and a finite number of years, he tries to perpetuate a very real sense of panic in us. It’s hard to see, when we’re zoomed in, that our direction matters more than our speed.
Remember, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” Thankfully, the God we worship is not bound by time. He sees who our loved ones really are and who we really are. So He’s patient with us, hoping we’ll be patient with each other
It is my witness that the Savior has the ability, because of His Atonement, to turn any nightmare you are going through into a blessing.
While our families aren’t perfect, we can perfect our love for others until it becomes a constant, unchanging, no-matter-what kind of love—the type of love that supports change and allows for growth and return.
It’s the Savior’s work to bring our loved ones back. It’s His work and His timing. It is our work to provide the hope and a heart they can come home to. “We have neither [God’s] authority to condemn nor His power to redeem, but we have been authorized to exercise His love.” President Nelson has also taught that others need our love more than our judgment. “They need to experience the pure love of Jesus Christ reflected in [our] words and actions.”
This should be a motto in our home.
No home is a failure unless it quits trying.” (Harold B. Lee) Surely, those who love the most and the longest win!
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