A testimony of apostles

I don’t even know exactly where to start here.

Yesterday we got news that President M. Russell Ballard, Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, had passed away. I first heard the news while driving in to work and I knew even before I heard any word of his death because as I turned on the radio I heard words from his conference address last April which I had just listened to in the morning about half an hour before the news of his death was made public. I heard those words on the radio and immediately though, “President Ballard must have died.” It was actually sweet to think that I had just been refreshed spiritually by his conference talk before that news broke.

Over the course of the day I heard various snippets of his reputation and of people’s recollections and memories with President Ballard so that I know more about him individually now than I ever did during his life. My memory tickles me that he might be the apostle who visited the stake conference for my BYU student stake which was the first time I ever saw an apostle in person. Whether that was him or not, and whether I ever saw him in person or not (there or elsewhere) he never made a deep and lasting personal impression in my life while he was alive. I don’t recall any specific conference talk over his decades as an Apostle to specially resonate with me and there was no theme to his ministry that I took note of in my life to make him stand out to me personally among his fellow Apostles.

That lack of any prior particular impression strengthens the testimony that I am recording based on the last 24 hours. My testimony was powerfully confirmed as I watched a 5 minute farewell video for President Ballard this morning that the church released. Of the many Apostles who have made deep personal impressions on me over the years (starting with Elder Neal A. Maxwell) I might bear testimony of their specific impact on me personally but with President Ballard I am sharing my testimony of the valuable role of Apostles generically for the church and the world. I could hear that testimony of the apostolic role of the person who will now be called to fill the vacancy in the Quorum of the Twelve that is left with the passing of President Ballard even though that person has yet to be identified at this point. Even though the specific testimonies of individual Apostles are important and valuable, the generic testimony of Apostles generally has a different kind of value that I cherish.

Based on the passing of this Apostle who did not occupy a special personal pedestal in my heart, I testify of the special calling of these Special Witnesses of Christ and what their presence on earth means to the church specifically and the world generally about the love that Christ has for the world.

Nobody with an honest heart can meet and interact personally with any of these men and come away feeling that there is anything nefarious behind the leadership of this restored church. The more you hear (unless your heart is tainted by some bitterness or opposition that needs healing) from any of them the more you realize that they genuinely love all of their fellow men and that the live they have is a reflection of the live that Christ has. The presence of Apostles on earth is a testament to the live of our Savior and our Heavenly Father.

Specifically to the restored church, the leadership of 15 very seasoned Apostles with a calling to witness of Christ to the world provides an unbreakably steady foundation for the direction of this organization. Each holds all the keys necessary for the work of salvation and while each one of them has the capacity to stumble or have bad days, collectively they have enough spiritual strength and depth that Satan himself could not corrupt that foundation and bring about the downfall of the church. In ancient times it was not even the death of Christ but rather the eventual dissolution of His Apostles (through their unreplaced deaths) that led to the great apostasy and the need for the then prophesied and now ongoing restoration.

I testify that we have true Apostles on the earth today who know Christ as well as the ancient Apostles did who walked the earth with Him during His mortal ministry. I testify that because of that solid foundation of Apostles holding the fullness of the restored priesthood keys that Christ has ensured that this gospel will not be taken again from the earth and that the purpose of this restored church is to bring about the salvation of the children of men in absolute alignment with the saving Atonement that Christ Himself wrought on behalf of the children of men.

I have, since my youth, hoped to eventually have a testimony of Christ as sure and unshakable as that of any of the Apostles. I will continue throughout my life to continue working to develop such a testimony and I am grateful for the witness of the Spirit that I have felt in these last 24 hours confirming the testimony that I have of this restored gospel and the role of the Apostles in the plan of salvation and by reflection the testimony of Christ that I have based on that facet (the role and calling of Apostles) of the plan.

I leave this testimony whenever and to whomever finds it in the name of Jesus Christ—who shows His live for the world in so many ways, not least of which is the calling of Apostles to testify of His love to the world. Amen.