Courageous Parenting

Speaking to parents of teenagers.

If your daughter were sitting on the train tracks and you heard the train whistle would you warn her? Would you worry whether she would think you were being over-protective? If she failed to heed you would you move her if you could?

It’s okay to say “I’m not sure why but I don’t feel good about it.”

Parents should support each other if one does not feel good about it.

When you take the easy way out by saying or doing nothing you may be enabling destructive behavior.

When morality is involved we have both the right and the obligation to raise the warning voice.

1. Family prayer
2. amily scripture study
3. family home evening
4. family dinner together
• it takes courage and energy to avoid over-scheduling so that you can have family dinner together.
5. regular personal interviews

There are no perfect parents and no easy answers, but there are principles of truth that we can rely on.

In these last days, what the world really needs is courageous parenting from mothers and fathers who are not afraid to speak up and take a stand.

Challenges and temptations are coming at our teenagers with the speed and power of a freight train.

The story of Eli teaches us that parents who love their children cannot afford to be intimidated by them.

Several years ago at general conference, Elder Joe J. Christensen reminded us that “parenting is not a popularity contest.” In the same spirit, Elder Robert D. Hales has observed, “Sometimes we are afraid of our children – afraid to counsel with them for fear of offending them.”

Young people understand more than we realize because they too have the gift of the Holy Ghost. They are trying to recognize the Spirit when He speaks, and they are watching our example. From us they learn to pay attention to their promptings – that if they “don’t feel good about something,” it’s best not to pursue it.

It’s so important for husbands and wives to be united when making parenting decisions. If either parent doesn’t feel good about something, then permission should not be granted. If either feels uncomfortable about a movie, a television show, a video game, a party, a dress, a swimsuit, or an Internet activity, have the courage to support each other and say no.

. . .

Brothers and sisters, if your spouse doesn’t feel good about something, show respect for those feelings. When you take the easy way out by saying and doing nothing, you may be enabling destructive behavior.

Prematurely pairing off with a boyfriend or girlfriend is dangerous. Becoming a “couple” creates emotional intimacy, which too often leads to physical intimacy.

President Boyd K. Packer has taught that “when morality is involved, we have both the right and the obligation to raise a warning voice.”

As a bishop I discovered that too many youth violated the Word of Wisdom or the law of chastity for the first time as part of a sleepover. Too often their first exposure to pornography and even their first encounter with the police occurred when they were spending the night away from home.

Courageous parenting does not always involve saying no. Parents also need courage to say yes to the counsel of modern-day prophets. Our Church leaders have counseled us to establish righteous patterns in our homes. Consider five fundamental practices that have the power to fortify our youth:

• family prayer
• family scripture study
• family home evening
• family dinner together
• regular one-on-one interviews with each child.

These things take courage.

Try to imagine what the rising generation could become if these five righteous patterns were practiced consistently in every home. Our young people could be like Helaman’s army: invincible.