Write a letter to a loved one. Chances are high that there is someone in your life that you’d like to say something important to. Maybe it’s a wife, a parent, a grandparent you never really got to say goodbye to…take the time today to write that out. It can be positive, negative, or anywhere in between. The beauty of this letter is that you aren’t sending it in the mail, you’re simply “voicing” something that needs to be said. Should you choose to share it later, that’s okay, but you don’t have to. Doing this can be a great way to heal anger that’s been pent up inside, or to release a pressure valve of sadness we may have been harboring over something lost.
Looking forward towards this day I would never have expected to write a letter to James Carroll but after our many interactions on the topic of marriage equality including two parallel discussions today that’s who I will write to.
Dear James,
You will likely never know the amount of time and thought I have expended watching you over the years in academic, social, and spiritual pursuits. I don’t pretend to know everything you have done or experienced in any one of those areas, let alone all of them, but I want to share my feelings based on that portion that I have been able to observe.
At first I was envious of your confidence, intelligence, and drive. Over time the envy faded as I realized that I wasn’t willing to put in the kind of time and effort that you dedicated to some of the pursuits I had envied such as studying Hebrew and delving deep into the possibilities of science and technology. It was clear to me that your path wasn’t one that I would enjoy or excel in as much as I had first thought I might.
It has been with heartfelt sorrow that I have watched in recent years as your intellectual tenacity has lead to the loosening and eventual dissolution of most of our common spiritual mores. Your faith in technology has led to a twisting of your understanding of eternity. The values of the world that seem somewhere between noble and innocuous on the surface have invaded your thinking until you are unable to maintain a grip on the truths of the plan of happiness.
I feel sorrow for Heidi who lives with a husband who is unable to comprehend how much more is available for them than could ever be available to two men who love each other. I feel sorrow for your posterity who have a father that is unable to teach the truth because he has come to believe the twisted social gospel that right is whatever men decide is right. I feel sorry for you, James, that you no longer know the truth of who God is and why He cannot bend to the sophistry of men.
You have lost sight of Him so much that you feel compelled to call some of the greatest, most loving, and wisest men on earth liars simply because they haven’t forgotten the reality that gender is an essential part of our identity and that finding someone to share our love with on earth isn’t the ultimate purpose of our earthly existence—that there is something greater to be had, even for those who are attracted to people of their own gender (and I’m not talking about eventually getting married to someone of the opposite gender although there will undoubtedly be some who will do that too).
I wish you could recognize how narrow your vision has become and how you have reduced your life to one that revolves around a single, misguided cause. More and more I fear that your continued grip on the faulty belief that homosexuality as a practice has some legitimate place in a moral society will lead you reject everything that might give you joy and will finally leave you at the mercy of your ultimate enemy.
I sincerely hope that you can come to see that it is possible to truly love your gay acquaintances while recognizing that abandoning the distinction between their love and eternal marriage won’t being them any more happiness in the long run.
With heavy heart,
David
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