The Seven C’s

I saw a good list of seven basic skills that children should learn before they have to live on their own at KSL.

Whether it’s for college, travel, humanitarian or religious service, as parents we can decrease stress and increase a smooth transition for our children by using anticipation and the Basic 7: cook, clean, clothes, cash, car, communication and coping skills.

1. Cook – Teach them how to cook five simple but real meals. Then teach a fast five set of meals.
2. Clean – Teach them how to deep clean, then fast clean. Once they’ve had to clean the house in two hours, doing a 5-minute bathroom will seem like a gift. To do that, show them how to start with cleanest to dirtiest as they spray and wipe the counter, sink and toilet, done.
3. Clothes – Teach them how to do each basic laundry stage — wash, fold, put away — and for a year they do all three weekly. If possible, encourage their laundry day to be a set one so that even when they move out, the routine is ingrained.
4. Cash – Teach them financial literacy and value. Not just how to spend money, but how to spend it wisely — when to go cheap, when to do quality, and when to say no.
5. Car – Teach them that transportation is about necessity, not nicety. Discuss what they really need to function — car, bike, bus, walk, etc.
6. Communication – Teach them key phrases and skills to work with others. These could include how to validate, make reasonable requests and follow up. One important skill is to “use your voice.” This helps them know how and when to speak up, ask questions and get answers.
7. Coping skills – Teach them how to manage emotions and handle stress. Management skills could include a religious focus or habit such as prayer or scripture study, as well as a talent, skill or routine that calms or rejuvenates.

Another helpful mechanism is creating baseline routines and zones. For example, when we travel I like to “set up shop” immediately in the room: my Ziploc bag with hair and hygiene items goes in the bathroom; clothes and shoes in the closet; books and journal on the side table. I forget fewer things and feel more at home. As kids figure out their own routines and zones, they can move from apartment to apartment and still quickly function in their daily routine.