Tag: Laura
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Unrecognized grief
I realized today that I am mourning the loss of my friend. That’s how this all started, with a best friend that I couldn’t wait to talk to about anything and who I was happy to listen to any time. Sadly somewhere in the last several years that friendship got buried somewhere and I’m lonely…
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Nothing there
It feels important to record this state. For many weeks now I have felt that Laura no longer seems to care at all about our marriage—like she has again emotionally divorced herself from me. She’s done this a couple of times in the last two years but in the previous iterations she could say least…
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Choose you this day
Laura told me that she had begun to feel unsettled about Alyssa’s queer identity and gay pride and then she thought about the contrast with Savannah preparing for a mission and she had the thought that she could not serve both masters – that she needed to choose whether she would follow the path of…
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Winning today
We expected today to be hard because Laura was unable to get refills on a couple of key medications before today so she is only partially medicated. We thought she would spend the day consumed by the sensations of her bipolar. Hoping for some extra help same decided to go to church today (first time…
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Brought back by small things
Colby Carroll tells a story about Brenda who was an inactive member who somewhat unwillingly accepted daily phone calls from them as missionaries. She was suffering from some illnesses, had issues with many ward members, and felt that God didn’t love her (sounds like Laura in some ways). She eventually came around to getting a…
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Speak peace to my mind
Today I had a wonderful spiritual experience the likes of which I have only had a few times before. I didn’t know it at the time but it began with my prayer this morning. It was one of those prayers where I felt truly in tune with my Father in Heaven and His will. I…
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A blind spot
Laura is frustrated tonight about issues that still surface “after 20 years.” She’s frustrated that we don’t see eye to eye on some parenting principles. She’s frustrated that she “has to lead out on any discussion of issues.” I hear all these things and bite my tongue because she can’t comprehend how she ensures that…
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Hit after hit
On Thursday evening, unbeknownst to me someone let George out and he was left out all night. In the morning he was not waiting near any doors not did he show up as the morning went on. I was emotionally drained as time passes at the thought that George might be gone. I even drove…
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The ice cracks
It has been two years that Laura has openly (to me, not anyone else) expressed her dissafection with the church. She has tried to persuade me not to believe in God and to stop paying tithing (back while I had an income). Tonight she went with the girls to Becca’s house for the women’s session…
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Blessing for Laura
I gave Laura a blessing today and afterward she requested that I write it down as best I could so that she could read it again. I bless you too be able to go through and process the pain, memories, and regrets that you hold rather than trying to put them behind you. I bless…